National Tell A Joke Day

No seriously. This is no joke.

Or, it is, but the day is real and it's not... oh for crying out loud. You know what I mean.

I'm a pretty funny guy in writing (that's why I have a blog) but I'm not the type that just comes up with jokes off the top of my head. So I'm not going to try to come up with my own joke for today... no, I'm going to leave that to the experts.

I recently read an article on Newslite (which is the best news source EVER) that was about researchers who discovered the worlds most funny joke. Now, I'm sure if you did this study again and polled a different 36,000 people, you would get different results. There's no scientific way to determine the funniest joke ever. Still, it's a pretty good list.

My favorite is actually number 14. It goes like this...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''  

Knee slapper that one. I laughed out loud.

Most of these jokes aren't dirty, and they're all pretty funny. The link is here, and I encourage you to go check it out today, and tell a joke to someone you love. Or, if it's a really bad pun, someone you hate.

Either way, have fun and I'll see you next time!

Book Lovers Day

I guess there's some controversy over which day of the year is Book Lovers Day. Some sources say it's today, August 9th, while others seem to think it's the first Sunday in November.

I really don't care one way or another. Maybe I'll do another post November 3rd too. I just know that I love books and wanted to celebrate them.

I decided that on Book Lovers Day, I should visit a local institution known as Kazoo Books. Here's their website - http://www.kazoobooks.com.

This place is awesome. It's one of those rare gems of a bookstore that carries new and used books, all mashed up together. Parking is around back of the store front off a street called Book Street. It's situated in a couple of converted houses, and just looks really cool inside and out.

Kazoo Books!

Walking up to the store, you instantly get the sense that this is going to be small, cramped and full of books inside. Once you step inside, you quickly realize... you were right, and it's one of the best places you've ever been. 

Pretty much every wall looks like this.

I browsed around for a bit waiting for my buddy Joey to show up. We've been friends for ages and ages (more years than I care to admit, really) and we share a love for the written word and old book smell. With both of us owning Kindles now, we don't get out to enough book stores, and boy am I glad we decided to go to this one. 

Every detail of the place jumps out at you and screams, "quaint little bookstore where you can find anything." The decorating, the way the books sit on the shelves, the signs, the cat that wanders around (I'm told there's a bigger cat at their second location...) It's all you've ever wanted in a small bookstore.

This whole little room off to the side on the main floor is painted with cherry blossoms. They wrap around the corner.

The few section signs there are, are printed on an inkjet printer and hung from the ceiling with mismatched chains. 

Told you. Bigger cat.

These little nooks with comfy chairs are situated throughout the store, giving people ample room to just pull of book of the shelf, sit down and read it. How cool is that?

I chatted with the owner, Gloria Tiller, for a little while about the store. She told me all about the author signings (there's one tomorrow for Jim C. Hines and his new book Libriomancer) and the book clubs they do, as well as the writers groups (maybe I should join one of those...) and huge verity of books they get in. 

The books all around the store are situated in a random kind of organized way. Sometimes you get whole huge sections...

The children's section!

...and other times you get little ones so specific your brain doesn't quite know what to do with them.

The small Tales and Legends section...

... not to be confused with Children's Fairy Tales and Legends.

One of the book club tables. There's a kitchen with a sink and a stove right next to it, so people can brew tea and coffee.

The atmosphere of the place just never stops. After going upstairs and finding even more extensive shelves filled to bursting with books, I walked across an outdoor deck (Gloria told me they do poetry readings out there sometimes) and discovered their poetry, old books, and antique books. 

As a student of literature, this was my favorite room. There were chairs to sit in here too, and a radio on a side table buzzing out NPR at a volume loud enough to hear, but not loud enough to distract.

Joey and I wandered about for a bit, chatted with Gloria a bit more, and then it was time for her to close up shop, so we decided to get out of there. Not before one last look though...

I apologize for the scruffy appearance... I'm growing my beard back.

And I even bought a used book (new to me!) for $3.18. How awesome is that?

So thanks Gloria, for talking to me, and thanks for having such an awesome store. I'll be going back, as often as I can get away to do so.  

Viva la books!

Ramadan: Day 6

Well, that didn't last very long.

Here's what my experiment in fasting has taught me; I need to eat on a regular basis, it's really hard to do without other people doing it with you as part of a community, and I really, really need more calories than can be considered reasonably healthy.

By the end of the third day of fasting, I was so irritable that I was yelling at people for walking too loudly. Now, as I work in child care, that's not acceptable behavior when trying to set a good example for hundreds of kids. By the time 3:00 or 4:00 rolled around in the afternoon, I was so drained of energy I couldn't get anything done. My mind would just blank and I would stare at a wall. This week and next week are the two busiest of my summer (special projects at work abound!) so I really had to be on my game. (Incidently, that's also why there's been a lapse in blog updates.)

So, I regret to say, I gave up. I lack the community to help me cope with the stresses of the fast, and I lack the practice or patience for it. I've at least tried to cut back on how much I eat, but that's been hard too. I have a high metabolism, so I need more food that most people to function properly. Even with 2,000 - 3,000 calories before I get home in the evening, I'm still exhausted. I just have no energy. Still, I'm trying.

Enough making excuses though. There's other holiday coming up to celebrate, and I still have to write that article explaining a bit about the history of Ramadan, so there's pleanty for me to do. Like I said though, the next few weeks will be really busy at work, so I might not get to everything in a timely manner.

I'll see you next time!

Ramadan: Day 1

Today marks the first day of my Ramadan fasting. Most sources simply state that I cannot eat or drink from sunrise to sunset, but seeing as it's been a very warm summer, and I still have to go to work, I've decided to exclude the drinking of water from those stipulations. No need to kill myself for a blog project.

I was going to get up early this morning before sun-up to eat something, but slept about 10 minutes too late for that. Maybe this whole project will get me used to rising and shining a bit earlier than normal. Anyway, no food for me until around 9:15 tonight... it's going to be a long first day.

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Muslim lunar calender. It's a time to purify the soul, practice self sacrifice, and refocus attention on God. More than just fasting, Muslims will abstain from all physical needs this month, purifying their bodies as well as their souls. Charitable work during this month is said to bring multiplied rewards in heaven, and prayer is observed more frequently and for longer periods of time.

My observation will be along these lines as well. This blog is a non-denominational, and doesn't focus on any single religion, so I don't feel comfortable throwing myself whole heartedly into the Muslim faith... that wouldn't be fair or respectful to them, and it wouldn't be honest of me at all.

As an experience project, I will abstain from physical needs and wants, fast during the daylight hours, work to purify my body and I will meditate every day to calm and purify my mind, and focus on my own spirituality. Is practicing Zen Meditation a conflict of interest? Well, I do it in a non-religious manner and use it mostly as a focusing tool, so no, I don't think it will be a problem.

So those are my ground rules. As I move forward with this lunar month, I'll post more information on what Ramadan actually is, where it comes from, and how different Muslim cultures observe it. Stay tuned, and I'll post more soon.

National Ice Cream Month

It's worth noting before I move into the next major project on this blog that July is National Ice Cream Month.

The third Sunday in July is always National Ice Cream Day (it was the 15th) and I was going to write about this then, but I got really busy for a little bit, and I was bogged down in research for the aforementioned project.

President Ronald Reagan proclaimed July as National Ice Cream Month in 1984. Only Executive Order or an Act of Congress can create an actual National holiday, so this one is for real.

Since it's been so hot here in Michigan (Hot in Michigan? Yeah, I know, weird...) I've been celebrating by having a bowl of ice cream pretty much every day this month. That will come to an end tonight however, because as of sun-down, we'll be entering the Islamic month of Ramadan... which is characterized by a strict fast from sun-up until sun-down... and I'll be observing the holy month right along with the Muslim community this year...

Stay tuned! I'll be updating on my Ramadan progress frequently.

National Sugar Cookie Day

Today is July 9th... National Sugar Cookie Day!

This is another one of those "National" days that isn't actually a state-sponsored holiday anywhere in the world as far as I can tell. But who cares if I get to eat some cookies, right?

The orrigional plan today was to wait for my wife to get home from work and make cookies together, take picture, and tell you folks reading at home how fun it is to make cookies with your family, bla, bla, bla...

Lauren has a really long drive home from work though, and I didn't think she'd be in the mood to bake after all that, so I struck out on my own to celebrate this day by myself!

I have a very short and somewhat spotted history with baking. And by that I mean I suck at it. So, I decided that instead of making sugar cookies from scratch, I would pick up some pre-made dough at the store, and just call it a day that way.

 

I had the best of intentions, but you know what they say about good intentions and the road to Hell being paved with them. I don't really know what they're talking about though... I've been down the road to Hell, and the Michigan Department of Transportation sure didn't pave that sucker with good intentions...

No really, it's a real place. Look it up.

I started by getting the dough out of the tube, and rolling it in some flour so it wouldn't stick to the counter top or the rolling pin (apparently no one told my dough that was supposed to work, because it stuck anyway.) I then rolled it out and chose some nifty dino-cookie-cutters to make the most awesome sugar cookies ever.

Rawr! Dino cookies!

My first attempt at a dino-cookie didn't turn out well. Or my second. Or the third.

When H.P. Lovecraft's makes cookies...

I eventually threw in the towel on that one and just started with some simple shapes. I even did a question mark! That gave me enough confidence to try again with the dinosaurs, and this time, they turned out okay.

As I put the cookies in the oven (350 degrees, 10-12 minutes) I had a sudden bad feeling, like I was doing something wrong. I'd greased the cookie sheet (and the pizza pan) and followed the cooking directions on the package, so I had no idea what it could be. I threw the suckers in there and waited for the timer to go off.

Doesn't this feel foreboding to you?

I waited until the edges of the cookies were golden brown before pulling them out of the oven (11.25 minutes exactly) and what to my wide and horrified eyes should appear but... BLOAT-A-SAURUS!

BLOATED... AND DELICIOUS!

The cookies had of course expanded, and I'd had then way too close together. Also, the store bought dough was obviously not intended for rolling and using cookie cutters, because none of the shapes held... they were all deformed and weird looking.

The horror!

Despite my failure in baking (Baking 22, Jake 3... sigh...) I had still successfully made slightly burnt but edible sugar cookies, so I could continue my celebration of the holiday! I slathered ol' Bloat-a-saurus with whipped frosting and ate the sassafras out of that cookie!

NOM NOM NOM

There was nothing left to do except get a plate full of cookies and eat them for dinner. Note to kids... when you grow up, you too can eat a plate of cookies for dinner... but not until you move out of your parents house.

Come back next time for when I maybe actually observe a real, documented holiday of some sort! Or, you know, maybe not. See you next time!

National Strawberry Sundae Day

Today is National Strawberry Sundae Day!

Or so the internet tells me.

I couldn't find any actual documentation on this day, but several websites assured me that July 7^th is, in fact, a day to celebrate strawberry sundaes, so I thought, “Why not? Let's do it!”

The best way to celebrate this day is obviously to eat a sundae topped with strawberries. My wife and I went out with our friend Leslie and picked up some ice cream (vanilla and strawberry swirl!) and a pile of berries. We then proceeded to our good friend's Chad and Amy's house.

After a fun filled afternoon of pools and water slides and squirt-gun fights, we all piled inside and broke out the ice cream, the berries, the toppings, and let's not forget the whipped cream! 

I'm pretty sure no one put the Franks Red Hot sauce on their ice cream...

This is probably a good time to mention that I'm not a huge fan of strawberries... or any berries really. I don't know what it is about them that puts me off... the texture of them? The feeling of the skin still on the outside of the fruit? How squishy they are? Who knows. Whatever it is, I don't actively seek out berries, but like most things, I'll eat them if I have to.

Today I DIDN'T have to eat them, but they're kind of in the name of the day, and this whole project doesn't have any meaning if I don't actually celebrate the holidays I'm supposed to be experiencing. So I piled those suckers on there. I mean really got into 'em and dumped 'em on. 

You know what I found out? When you slice the suckers up, cover them with chocolate sauce, caramel sauce and whipped cream and drown them in ice cream... they're not so bad! Though, I'm sure most things would taste good if you did all that to them... except maybe Spam... but that's a different holiday. And you'll have to wait a little while for me to get to it, because we just missed it yesterday. 

My Strawberry Sundae. It was delicious!

Anyway, my wife Lauren, Leslie, Chad, Amy and their boys Caleb (age 10) and Logan (age 8) all sat down with me and we ate the heck out of those sundaes. Everyone had a good time, everyone had some good tasty treats, and everyone enjoyed themselves immensely.

Ice cream, after all, makes everything better.

See you for the next one!

-Jake